Many of you aware the word abusive is mean to be physical; torturing, hitting, kicking, punching, and such that includes in physical wounds or bruises, not really knowing about anything else.
Let's see according to scientist or psychologist or smart people with doctor on their name have conclusion about this matter;
- Control, There are many forms of abuse don’t leave bruises. This type of abusive behavior using a mind control to limited the partner's life. Controling the partner's friends, life, families, things to-do, sometimes this kind of behavior may lead to violence too. This is because the abusers think he/she own their partners, they claiming their partners as their properties and can do whatever they want to their partners. Which is creating an environment where the abusers can isolate and ruining their partners self esteem, until the point where the partners thinking he/she is useless, weak, and helpless. Control may be attempted by using threats, anger, or excessive criticism.You need to set some boundaries if your partner controlling your life too far from normal, it's your life, not her.
Source: returnofkings
- Emotional manipulation, messing with the partner's mind or perhaps you in this case. This is the most common use of threat the abusers use to their partners, some people realize it, some don't. Using the guilty feeling, threatening words, or other acts to mess with the head in order to simply hurt him or her, or to force compliance. The abusers may play mind-games, attack their partner's vulnerabilities, threaten to leave or withhold affection/approval as punishment. Simple words like; "I'll leave you for good if you don't do what I say," already considered as threat, and if your partner use this words too many times with you, evaluate your relationship.
Source: onmogul
- Verbal abuse, Constant demeaning, insulting, or humiliating comments in public or private. Your partner calling you a bastard, asshole, son of a bitch, or many insulting words towards you, please just get out from the relationship before things escalating more to violence. Abusers usually have a very short temper, they never realize the words they are using is actually hurting their partner, and they mostly have their partner to blame for everything if things doesn't go as they pleased. This includes telling hurtful jokes about their partners despite of their discomfort and requests to stop, name-calling, swearing and insults, questioning the partner's sanity or ridiculing their opinions/desires.
Source: buzzle
- Sexual abuse, some people don't want to recognize an unwanted sex in their relationship/marriage as an act of rape, until recently. Sexual abuse includes unwanted sex, withholding sex, forced engagement in any sexual activity that frightens or hurts you, refusing to practice safe sex. I have a friend that has been sexual harassment by her ex girlfriend, the ex tried to engaged sexual intercourse without my friend agreement, she run away from her ex and only to found out that her ex doesn't feel guilty of her act, instead she was laughing and chasing another female that catches her attentions. God knows what's more she was doing when they are still in a relationship. Girls, never, never ever ever let your partner/girlfriend forcing themselves to you to fulfill their sexual needs. Your body is yours, not belongs to anyone, nor your partner's, they have it because the feeling is mutual. If the feelings isn't mutual, you've been raped.
Source: dawn
- Physical violence, this act is a common issue for married people or couples, in addition to beating and chocking, pining you down, spitting on you, abandoning you in dangerous places, driving at high speeds or toying with dangerous situations to intimidate you, refusing to help you or withholding aid when you are sick, injured or pregnant is also physical abuse. You don't need time to think or thinking your partner can or will change for you if they start to hurt you physically, if the abusers don't go seeks for professional help to calm their abusive issues, they are probably won't change for the rest of their life. One thing you need to do; get the fuck out from the relationship and don't look back.
Source: sdsheriff
I know things aren't easy, you might said; it easier to speak than done. I know, believe me, I know. We know, my girlfriend and I know. We survived from our past abusive relationship.
My ex use emotional manipulation to keep me around, I thought I was in love with her enough to keep her around and I need to take care of her because my guilty feeling made her lost the only chance for her to work in a very prestige place. I was a snob, rich female who thinks I can support my ex and her family. She put the blame on me of everything happens, threatens me to leave me if I don't do things as she pleased, I spent a year and half to please her, support her family even when I have to lie and let my family destroyed. She keep her revenge intact, she remembers the details everytime I made a mistake, I spend days, months, hours to fix my mistakes, scared, only to be cheated because she think I wasn't enough.
She was using verbal abuse without she even notice, for her it was a normal thing to do. It was okay, it was just a words. She called me idiot, stupid, dog, pig, bastard, asshole whenever she please. When I drive with her next to me and the traffic get stuck, she will start throwing tantrum and cursing me, blaming me for not picking the right way. It happens to me every single day for my year and seven months relationship with her, and I bare with everything because the guilty feeling still there.
I actually feel relieved, when she cheated. I was so ready to leave her, to get the fuck away from the broken relationship. Still, I give her another two months and she failed me miserably. It was difficult at first, losing her, losing us, but it start getting easier when I realized I have my whole life back. I was never be myself with her, and it felt good being me again.
I'm free. At last.
My girlfriend having it differently with her ex, she was in a very controlling relationship. Her phone, her friends, her social media, who she talk to, who she was hanging out with, her ex need to know. She need to be ready to call, every time. Her ex will bombarding her with hundreds of missed calls if she didn't pick up the call, she need to bring the phone when she take a bath or taking dump, because the ex will call her whenever she please and she must take the call or hell will set loose.
She is actually a very calm person, she hates yelling or getting mad over a silly reason. But her ex is a genius person who's invented the term of yelling and spat nonsense at your girlfriend or screaming on her face is an act of love. Yes, screaming, as in throwing tantrum, spat, yelling and cursing, telling her that every thing she has done was all wrong, she don't listen well, and such. You know, this kind of act if doing it frequently will make the person think that she/he are damn stupid.
She thought she was giving her ex enough time to change and learn, to reduce her anger, her control freak action, or her tantrum. But no, nothing change. One time she can be okay, next minute she's already crazy. She ask for a break, to give a space for them, because she knew her ex will not accepting the break up plan. Give it a rest for their confusing and tiring relationship.
We met at our lowest point.
We survived.
We learned in the hardest way.
We know how it feels.
It was hard, at first.
But now we have each other.
There will be someone who will love you with everything you have,
and give you with everything they have.
Vice versa.
Sometimes it's better to let go than holding on.
Your life is yours.
Your body is yours.
And you deserved to be love, appreciate, content, and protected.
Hey sweetheart, my sweet baby Em...
Source: tumblr
